Are you getting in your own way???

There are not a lot of things I claim to be an expert about but getting in my own way is an area that I have been all too familiar with in my life. I would like to be able preface this post tonight by saying that I am completely reformed and it never ever happens anymore, but I would be lying and I made a commitment to never lie to my peepes:) When people are put in a position of leadership one of the biggest mistake I think they make is not sharing the struggles, failures and pitfalls they have discovered on their way up the ladder. They get into the position and suddenly feel they have to at least appear perfect,unflawed, absolutely put together and completely without struggles. Fortunately for you all I am not that kind of person...lol On the contrary, sometimes I wonder if I show who I really am a little too much? Do I get too personal and reveal too much about myself? Maybe...but I am who am and I don't know how to be any other way.
I feel that I have done so much right in my career and yes that is important but sometimes sharing what you've done wrong and what you have learned from it will help people more than anything. The way I look at it if you do enough right it will shine through and it won't be necessary to talk about it at all...so here goes...I will share 3 failures, struggles and pitfalls I have discovered along the way and what I learned from each of them.
#1 Right Person...Wrong Attitude...let's face it. We are all human. Occasionally we all get a little down and second guess our self, our plans, our careers, our choices and just about everything one can imagine. That's not the struggle I am speaking of here. I am speaking to a chronic illness of the soul...bad attitude. My bad attitude several years ago almost robbed me of my career long before I even got off the ground. Looking back I don't know how anyone wanted to be around me. Don't get me wrong I had a laundry list of reasons my attitude was bad... all my friends were single and in college or recently graduated and I was a struggling young mother, the people who were hired at the same time as me lived closer to my DSC than I did and got way more attention and help than me, I lived in a rural community with not many businesses to call on, I didn't have accounts like the veteran agents to go to and it was so hard to open new accounts, people said they couldn't afford aflac or business owner didn't take me serious....my list could go on and on and on...sound familiar??? Funny it is the same excuses I still hear 13 years later. The difference now is I am not the one saying it. Now I am on the other side of that desk remembering just how I felt all those years ago. When I say I have been where you are, I have. When I say I know how you feel, I do and when I say it gets better, I promise it does...It gets much better but it all starts with you. Actually with a small part of you. It starts in space that lies between your ears. Before you actually have a great attitude you have to consciously decide that you are going to have a great attitude. You are the only one that can make that decision. I encourage you today, right now, look at your watch and decide from this moment on, the one absolute thing that you can control in your life is your attitude. Say it out loud right now. "I WILL HAVE A GREAT ATTITUDE AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME"...doesn't that feel better:)
#2 Commitment and Follow Through...This is a big one...The true definition of commitment is staying committed long after the feeling in which you first committed has passed. It is easy to make commitments, to say yes, to make new goals and plans but what about when things get a little rocky? How hard is it to stay the course when the course ain't so easy to stay on? It is hard but that's what you do when you truly believe in something enough to commit. It is my theory that many people say they commit but do so without very much though and surly without the belief and faith necessary to stay the course. In my own career I have fallen guilty to giving up before the glory...allow me to explain. I would do really well for a little while and when things started going a little wrong I would begin looking for something else. Fortunately I had enough belief and faith in this company that I never looked to leave the company but what I did do was look to change districts, regions or territories. You see when I started with AFLAC Florida was all on state. Actually I lived 4 hours away from my DSC and my region. There weren't really territories and as long as I stayed in Florida. I could pretty much transfer and work in any region...boy I did. Got mad at one...that's okay I transferred to another. By the time I had been with AFLAC for 5 years I had worked in 5 regions. That means every year I started over...sound crazy? it was crazy. I convinced myself and everyone around me that I was moving to a better opportunity and it was a step up. Ultimately it almost caused me to step right out of the business. It wasn't until I moved to this area that I actually truly committed to my career. I made a promise to myself that I would give it a min of 5 years no matter what. Believe me there have been things this past 5 years that it would have been so much easier to just walk away and start over somewhere else but I stayed true to my commitment. Now I feel like I truly have a home, a team that I love and a true aflac family around me. So my lesson # 2 is "stay committed" "don't give up before the glory". Right now take out a piece of paper and write down 1 thing that you will commit to for the next 60 days.
#3 "Let Go" and for me "let God"....The absolute hardest thing for me in this life is to give up control...there I finally admit it in writing...I AM A CONTROL FREAK!..as if you all didn't know that already..lol Remember in the beginning of this post I said I wish I could say that I am completely reformed, that I didn't struggle anymore, well if I had left this one off the list I may have been able to say that but this is my ongoing struggle...."letting go isn't just hard, it's necessary". I give myself credit for marked improvement in this area but it is a daily challenge for me. I don't know about you but I actually think if I try to control the situation and worry enough about it, I may actually be able to change it. The truth is sometimes not matter how great your attitude, not matter how solid your commitment things still may not go the way you want them to go. You won't always get the promotion, you want always get the account, you want always get the response from others that you desire...people absolutely won't always do what you want them to do, even when what you want for them to do is best...what can you do?...you can let yourself go crazy or you can let go... For me I say "let go and let God" and that is because the only way I find the strength to do this is through my faith...but that is me. Whatever works for you I encourage you to learn how to let it go....I love the illustration if you have a handful of sand and you hold it with an open hand you actually will lose very little of the sand but if you take the same handful of sand and close your fist and grip real tight, most of the sand will slip through your fingers.
Isn't it ironic the more we try and control sometime the more we actually lose control. My 3rd and final lesson for the night..."let it go!!!" take a small piece of paper and write down one thing you will sop tyring to control...then go to the fireplace, sink or garbage can, take a lighter and set that piece of paper on fire...."let it go!"... make sure you have water or a fire extinguisher nearby,please don't burn the house down in the process...lol..seriously "let it go"!
There you have it...my top struggles, failure and pitfalls that I have learned along the way.
Good Night and God Bless you all:)